


Watchdog Finds a Baby

by hotcocoacutie



Category: Hermitcraft, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Elytrans, Gen, Hermitcraft - Freeform, Newborn Children, This is going to make sense to a very small group of people, grumpy man discovers baby and becomes soft, strange enough au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 10:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18809479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotcocoacutie/pseuds/hotcocoacutie
Summary: Watchdog is good at a lot of things. This is not one of them.—This is for team-star-ghast-cannon’s au on tumblr!Written for the se discord, Hermi is everyone’s daughter, I love her.





	Watchdog Finds a Baby

Watchdog was good at many things.

They were strong; their robotic eye, inherited from Iskall, did… a lot of useful stuff, honestly, including allowing them to see and access the serverwide chat without writing on their arm; they were good at protecting the Stock Exchange and chasing birds (or one in particular, and they preferred to ignore their repeated failure at catching them.)

Watchdog also had very good ears, which one night lead them away from the Stock Exchange, through the window of 221G Baker Street (they originally hit the button to go up but the doorbell was taking so long they decided the glass would be easy to replace anyway and punched through it) and into Grian’s Sherlock-esque office.  
This time Watchdog’s good ears unfortunately led them to one of the things they were not so good with:

Children.

Or, they assumed this was a child, or maybe the term _newborn fucking baby_ was more appropriate. The lamp Ren had barely glanced at last time he was here was gone, and Watchdog was having a bit of a hard time staying fused because apparently the base of the lamp had been a fucking _dragon egg_ and _HOW THE HELL DID YOU NOT NOTICE RENDOG??_

Another piercing cry broke Watchdog from their stunned state, and they moved from the door of the office toward the small lump of flesh and feathers with a lampshade on top of it. After a moment’s hesitation and another round of anguished screaming that was starting to be more annoying than worrying, they moved the lampshade to the side.

A tiny elytran lay belly-down on the floor, tears in it’s deep black eyes and mouth open as it screamed. As soon as the lampshade was removed it quieted and looked up at Watchdog for a moment, then shivered violently and started screaming again. Watchdog thought it must be very cold for such a tiny thing.

They grabbed the robe that Grian had left on his desk and sat down to wrap the baby in it, cradling it- her? Was it a her?- in their arms, shushing gently as her cries softened.

The baby smiled, tiny hands raising and slapping Watchdog’s face before they could duck out of the way. They managed to turn their head so the baby avoided their mechanical eye, but now they were left staring down at the thing, thoughts stalling as they tried to puzzle out what the hell they were supposed to do now.

There was a phone on Grian’s desk. Ren thought Grian might have mentioned it connecting to his ocean base.

The phone rang exactly eight times before being picked up. Watchdog placed the phone between their head and their shoulder so they could hold the squirming baby more securely. “Uh, hi 

“Iℸ ̣ ’ᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹𝙹 ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ᒷᔑ∷ꖎ|| ⎓𝙹∷ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ— What do you want?” Grian sounded tired. Watchdog had probably woken him up- it was the middle of the night, anyway.

“Uhm. The egg in your office hatched.”

Watchdog winced at the loud crash from the other end of the line. The baby elytran giggled, grabbing the finger Watchdog held up for her. They really hoped she wouldn’t bite it. _(Jesus Christ how does she have so many teeth already?!)_ A few moments of rustling later Grian’s voice came through, more awake and a lot louder. “WHAT?! WHERE ARE YOU?? Wait that’s a stupid question you just said- I’ll be over in just a second!”

Watchdog placed the ringing phone back on it’s holder. The baby elytran had quieted, now suckling contentedly on her pudgy hand. 

Watchdog flicked the lightswitch on the wall and sat down in Grian’s armchair, sighing heavily.  
They looked down at the baby. She laughed and patted his face again.

“I really hope you don’t get attached, kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: She gets attached.
> 
> Also the galactic reads “It’s too fucking early for this—“


End file.
